Reflecting on Grace's Birthday Eve

Shortly after Grace was born, I read a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It says:

"You were made perfectly to be loved.
And surely I have loved you,
In the idea of you,
My whole life long."

I remember holding her in my arms and reading this poem, and having the two just click. It described exactly how I felt about her. She was made perfectly to be loved, and somehow, somewhere in me, I've loved her always.

I can't compare the love I feel for Adam and Grace; I just know that I don't love one more than the other. They are both incredible. However, Grace and I have this bond. It's hard to explain. In some ways, it's because she needs me. Adam has always been very independent, very in control, very non-attached. It was no problem for him to give up his bottle or pacifier. He has never been attached to a blanket or a toy. He's very logical and smart. Grace, however, needs me. Just as much as I need her. She's a mama's girl through-and-through. I love it.

In other ways, I know it's because how much she has helped me. Literally, it was her and her sweet spirit and innocent mind and beautiful face, that got me through dark times. I have never felt as lost as I did after she was born. I remember being in the hospital, just having learned I had a tumor and that it looked cancerous, and thinking, "How cruel is it to have been given her, when I might die and lose her." Having her helped me pull through those sad days. To realize that life is good and wonderful, and that she was evidence of that. That Heavenly Father was aware of me and my family, and that all would be well. She's my angel.

She's full of light, energy, sweetness, and hope. Looking at her is a testimony to me that Heavenly Father loves me. He sent her to us, because He knew how much she was needed and wanted and how much she would be loved and how much she would love us. I'm so thankful for her.

Now... enough with the emotion-ess. Grace turns 2 tomorrow, and it's time to get ready to party! Pictures and details tomorrow!