Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Bully

Yesterday, Adam came home with red marks all over his back/chest. The bully at school had lashed him with a jump rope and when Adam ran away, he tackled him to the ground and threatened him.

Nice.

This is exactly what I was trying to avoid by putting him at a non-ghetto school.

This kind of stuff has been going on with this kid for a month: hitting, punching, shoving, etc. And, honestly, this situation is seriously probably the hardest thing I've gone through as a mother.

On the one hand, I want to march down to the school and give the kid a taste of his own medicine, because he's hurting my baby. A part of me wants to yank Adam out of school and shelter him in our home so he will never get hurt again. BUT, being picked on and fights are a part of growing up and life. At some point, everyone gets picked on, and I know that he needs to learn how to stand up for himself and deal with this, and that me stepping in isn't really helping.

We've talked a lot about what to do with this situation (trying to befriend him, ignoring him, telling a teacher, and even yelling at him to 'Go Away!'). Nothing has helped. Yesterday, when he came home crying and I looked at him, the red marks everywhere escalated this to a whole new level.

I really didn't know what to do (talk to his mom?), and finally decided to talk to Adam's teacher first. I wrote a note to his teacher and we talked after school today. She talked to both of them, disciplined the boy, and the situation has (hopefully) been taken care of and is over.

I'm glad that it's over. I'm glad that I didn't lose my temper. I'm glad that Adam's teacher listened and resolved the situation.

I'm mostly glad that it's over.

I still feel a little weird about stepping in, but I think it was needed. I'm his mother and one of the job requirements is that I keep him safe. And I'm doing my best to do that.

But, I'm thinking maybe a karate class is in order.

To help with the self-esteem and to encourage him to be able to stand up for himself.

And it can't hurt to know how to chop a board in half, if by chance the bully picks on him.

Right?

2 comments:

Amanda said...

This is one of my many fears about my kids going out into the world. I watched a Lifetime movie the other night about HS girls bullying another girl. It made me so sad and fearful for my kids.

I think you did the right thing by teaching Adam how to try and solve the problem himself and then intervening when it didn't work.

And, I agree that karate couldn't hurt.:)

Grammy Suzzy said...

I'm for chopping him in half!!! Seriously, you did the right thing! I still remember when Tom McMurdy socked me in the stomach in first grade. He was a bully on the next street. I was always, always scared of him! Adam needs to know that you will act on a situation when all else fails. You did great!! And if it doesn't stop, there is one Grammy here that won't hesitate to bop that bully! Hey who would blame a crazy old lady!!! Nano's coming too!!!