"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."
I feel like that pretty much sums up my life right now.
Sigh.
We've had a lot of ups and downs in our marriage, but things began getting a little crazy last August. Last August, Murphy's Law came into play, medically speaking. Literally one thing happened after another. Our health insurance requires that we pay a co-pay PLUS 30-40% of everything. Which completely stinks, by the way. And in case you were wondering, the percentage that we have to pay of all of these things that have happened since August comes down to:
Bronchoscopy: $1800
ER head laceration: $825
Sprained elbow: $1050
Chest x-ray x 2: $204
Neck CT scan: $280
Urgent care head laceration: $250
And there went any future possibility of a house.
And you don't even want to know how much has been spent on regular office visits/prescriptions.
So, anyways, this past week and a half, all of these medical bills began pouring in... all at once. I've had to submit accident form after accident form, and the insurance company released all of them at the same time, once they all were approved. Having several thousand dollars of medical bills materialize overnight is enough to stress anyone out, but I was trying to get ready to go out of town/do RS stuff, and I was freaking. I told myself, "We're fine... just nothing else can go wrong."
And then on Thursday, on our way out of town for a wedding/party that we've been very much looking forward to, Murphy's Law happened upon our trip. The working car (because the other one isn't doing so well, but that's a different story) broke down just outside of Kingman. The car that Mike had just checked over the day before, that was running perfectly. We had to rent a car to finish our trip, just to have to cut it short to pick up our car, which was working, only to have it die again when we stopped 5 minutes later at the rental car agency.
Come on! Seriously?
And then today Grace woke up with pink-eye.
Sigh.
I know that there is adversity in all things. I know that everyone has trials. I know that. BUT, come on! Does that seem like abnormally bad luck or what?
I've been cuddling with Grace today, thinking about life. I think that I'm a good person. We read our scriptures, say our prayers, and write in our journals. Mike and I both devote a lot of time to our callings. Mike works really hard for our family, and I try to be a good wife/mom. BUT, I just have to be doing something wrong. I have to be. Because, this just seems like more than bad luck or Murphy's Law. I must need to learn something from all of this, that I'm just not. Y'know? Am I not doing enough for my calling? Do I need to read my scriptures more? Pay more fast offerings? Serve more selflessly?
Probably.
Stop whining so much and look for the blessings in all of this (and really, there have been SO many)?
Absolutely.
4 comments:
Sweetie, this is a hard concept to deal with, I Know so well, but bad things just do happen to good people!! I have often thought about why and what, and I know I am not perfect, but, hey, I am trying, and yet sometimes I just got more than my share. I heard a talk by James E. Faust where he said that if bad things happened to bad people, and only good things happened to good people, there would be no choices...it would be easy. I know you must feel that sometimes you are the poster child for "no matter what RIGHT I do, it seems to turn out wrong" but you and Mike ARE the most amazing, wonderful, dedicated, honorable, steadfast people I know. You may not see who is watching, but I hope Kate and Nate are watching YOU! Hang in there, and thank you for enduring in faith! The blessings will come ... someday!!!
The two weeks preceeding our wedding I kept telling Kristi, if anything is going to cause opposition that would impact our wedding more-so than anything else, it would be my Ghetto 400 dollar car. Sure enough, thursday I leave work and my starter had totally crapped out on me. I had to walk a mile or so to get to my coworker's apt, borrow his car, drive it to the parts store, get a part and somet tools, and then spend an hour or so trying to figure out how to change a starter for myself. The whole time I'm praying "Lord, you helped Nephi make a bow, so can you help me replace a starter?" Sufficed to say, he answered and my car is running now.
I feel so bad for you. I know that the harder I try to do right the more it feels that Santin is picking on me. The hardest one to get over was Charles. Doran had finaly gotten to the point that he was willing to talk to the bishop and then we found out. Now we are back to square one. Hope it all turns out ok. We will keep you in our prayers.
Congratulations! You have like the worst luck of anyone I know! That means you will also get to grow the most. There is a reason they are called growing pains. They are a pain. Just remember that you are loved by the coolest person ever. ME!
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